love is the new black.

I feel like I am coming to a thousand new awakenings. Its like a dark room becoming gray then white then brilliantly revelatory. And I am sitting in the middle of it all just waiting. And sometime waiting feels impossible. Okay- all the time it feels impossible.

It's a long overdue, groaning-of-creation sort of revelation that makes all the waiting seem insignificant. In the process I gave up at least a hundred times, picked up easier fluffier alternatives and almost convinced myself that I was happier that way. My human condition.

I have so many friends who give up on Truth and sometimes I go with them for a while, take their words and put them deep inside of the core of my own scary questions. And then I go into dark rooms and wait for the Truth to open the door and whisper, "silly rabbit, tricks are for kids"... I will give you a moment to revel in that profound statement. Dont worry- I don't get it either.

............. getting back to that revelation.

Bah...there is something simple about life that I haven't really figured out. And this process has to be a lot easier than I make it out to be. It's not all doom and death and woh is mes and when whilst I be who I am meant to bes. It is love. It is hope. It is community creating these things as a reflection of a God breathing forth all of it and speaking the absolute Truth. That we are in desperate need all the time to be Loved. And deeply connected to that Love through communal love. Love love love.

I don't think there is an easy way out of this life. I think it is meant to be simple, but not easy. My friend, Mrs. Steffenhagen, always tells me "There's nothing wrong with you. Life is just messy." And it is. We tangle ourselves up, we have chemicals in our brains that are messy and former lives that are broken. But we are magnetically drawn to a force field of... love. That's right, my point still remains... we are drawn to that connection which untangles us, gives us medicine and reminds us that our past is not it's own entity, but something deeply connected to who we are now and who we are becoming. All within the context of... Love.

So open those doors, my friends, and let that light shine so bright that your corneas burst and you are becoming something more accurately reflective of (you know what).