I've been sitting at this computer thinking of something to write for 15 minutes now. So I'm just gonna go with the flow. No aplogies, all naturale.... going flowing.

I am ready to get rid of all my stuff and do something big. That's kind of the hippy/monastic in me that hates the monthly rent and uninspiring school work. This makes me seem extreme, but it's the truest instinct I have at the moment. I would say that it will pass but I'd just be lying.

I love my community. I love the people I am in community with. Because it's honest and open and they are the MOST genuine people I know. My best friend, the Steffenhagens, TLC, Listo and Hubba are a core group that have been so consistent- in all the years I have known them. I have learned that it is safe-and better- to struggle with life and faith than to go it alone and never grow into the person God has called me to be. I stand by my motto that Community is often difficult but always amazing, always worth it.

My faith looks nothing like it used to. I mean day and night. I do not believe in a conservative obligation, a political duty. I pledge allegiance to the Slaughtered Lamb. I love my neighbor- and I will fight to love them... fight my selfishness, fight their pride. I believe in seeing the ugliest parts of people and being able to show God's love.... be an extension of Divine Love. I think we've made God into something that fits our agendas... we make God angry so we can justify our hatred. We make God look like us so we can justify our prejudices and oppressions. We make God a slot machine so we can justify our greed. I want to see God oustide of a box. I want a real faith... a spirituality that is less black and white and more... messy.

My heros are not famous. They are everyday people. They are the ones I work alongside. They are the ones that fight against injustice and have so much... hope. They find creative ways to love people. And the way they love people- let me tell you- it's like seeing God's heart right there beating away without all the humanity getting in the way. The people I respect find ways to make life better for those around them. They are selfless. And I want to be more like them.

Okay... I think that's all I have for today's segment... I leave you with my favorite benediction.


A Franciscan Benediction:

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done."