Poems and Stuart Smally...

"We Have Not Come to Take Prisoners" by Hafiz

We have not come here to take prisoners,
But to surrender ever more deeply
To freedom and joy.

We have not come into this exquisite world
To hold ourselves hostage from love.

Run my dear,
From anything
That may not strengthen
Your precious budding wings.

Run like hell my dear,
From anyone likely 
To put a sharp knife
Into the sacred, tender vision
Of your beautiful heart.

We have a duty to befriend
Those aspects of obedience
That stand outside of our house
And shout to our reason
"O please, O please,
Come out and play."

For we have not come here to take prisoners
Or to confine our wondrous spirits,

But to experience ever and ever more deeply
Our divine courage, freedom and 
Light!

(The Gift ~ versions of Hafiz by Daniel Ladinsky)

A person that I love and respect so much, gave me this poem. And it sums up so beautifully what I am doing right now. Running like hell from the things that will make me forget who I really am, from the things that will cause me to regress. I want to experience, to do everything more fully. To do life much better than I have before. 

I am smiling right now and my heart is swelling because I have come SO far. I have been through SO much to be sitting here typing these things. And typing them from the truest part of myself, not because you might want to hear these things. Because it wasn't that long ago that I struggled and even gave up. But I was able to make it out alive not only because I have friends that give me poems and embrace my suffering, but because I was able to take ownership for myself. I was able to do it. And they helped, but I did it. 

I did it and I can honestly tell you that it is so worth it. You can do it with the support of other people it, but ultimately it has to be yours. Trust me- do it a million times because you want to make people happy or make them believe you are okay and you will fail a million times. Over and over again you will find reasons to hate yourself more because they want something for you that you can't achieve. It cripples you and causes your suffering to deepen all that much more. And then like some creeping light, you realize that you want something for yourself and you go for it. You go. And you begin to thrive because you want to. You begin to grow because you can and you will. It's simply profound. Simply the best kind of healing. 

So, my friends- thanks, a million times thanks. In the words of Stuart Smally, "I'm good enough I'm smart enough and god darnit people like me." Thanks, me... haha. 

Enlightened, 

Jaime