I was thinking about it.

Remember that time you took off your socks and gave it to the woman with no money or food? It was winter and your socks were the nice, thick ones that you need to have when the cold starts making itself known in your limbs. She literally stood in awe as you took each shoe off and peeled the layers off of your feet. She asked if you were a Christian and you didn't ask her if she knew where she was going to go when she died. You just nodded and handed them to her. 

It was completely mindblowing. It was all of those conversations we had ever had manifested. You were doing something we want to say we all do. You acted. 

I was thinking about this today as the rain soaked my feet. I think about it when I want to stop caring. 

Thank you. 

Do you remember when you told me you liked my lip ring? You had an eye brow ring and you were that cool, wise person that everyone wanted to know. I had seen you at Christ Community and walking around campus. Do you remember when I called you after I went "there?" You understood and lovingly explained that I wasn't actually crazy, that you understood. And I knew you did. I really knew you fully comprehended a brain turned enemy. 

You are the things that I want to be- not because you are perfect, but because you own life in a way that I am only just beginning to figure out. I love you for so many reasons that a simple blog can't hold. 

I was thinking about that tonight when I read one of the papers I wrote for you. You put a post-it on it telling me I was good writer. I have that post-it on my wall. I think about it when I want to sell myself short. 

Thank you.

Do you remember not giving up? Letting me fight for our friendship on white rocking chairs. I trust you more than I ever have. And that's a nice feeling. And I read your note and cried because I am just so fortunate to know you. 

Our revolution will be made up of those things. And we will change everything profoundly. You just wait. 

I thought about it today when I saw you on the patio and you kissed my cheek. I think about it when I take things for granted. 

Thank you. 

Do you remember sitting at my kitchen table? I wanted to show you something, but I didn't really have the language- I just wanted you to see that it was already inside of you. Remember when I sat at your kitchen table? And you let me cry and you redeemed touch for me on a whole new level. 

You. Are. Beautiful. 

I thought about these things when I walked by the place that I miss the most. And I think about it when I just want to quit hoping.

Thank you.