Experiment Reflection: Food and Self-Disclosure

“We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink...”
— Epicurus

My experiments have been going mostly well. I have spent a lot less money and a lot more time with people that I love.

I am beginning to realize how much interaction centers around eating. And how there is a whole marketing campaign geared towards making you believe you will have the maximal experience if you go this restaurant and order this food or drink.

But there is a beauty in simplicity. In home-cooked meals sitting around tables without all that other ruckus. No overhead music playing, no chattering going on around... no noise but your own conversation. It's beautiful.

One thing I look forward to when I have a family one day- when we live in community with other people- will be the meals. The stress going into getting everything ready suddenly dissolving into just being present. There. With the people that I love and love me.

How profound.

As far as what I am trying to learn about, I have had a few conversations on the topic of self-disclosure. What that looks like. Who you can be fully yourself with. What you can tell them and what filters are used in our day-to-day interactions. Interesting. I talked with someone who values self-disclosure in a very selfless way. It is for the greater benefit of a relationship, in her opinion. And another person said they felt the only one they could be honest with was themselves alone in their room. They hold onto emotions and release them safely.

In my opinion self-disclosure is a beautiful risk. Does it suck sometimes? Yup. Do people mess up and hurt you. Sure do. But I think about all of the times in my relationships where I took risks and it yielded something... brutally genuine... I can't think of a phrase that really sums it up. I can think of examples, of people with whom self-disclosure has been a personally definitive experience. I can give you a long list of encounters, experiences, moments that stopped my heart... broke my heart... helped me to see the value of the human experience specifically in the context of community (you knew I couldn't go a whole post without using that word). Amazing.

Self-disclosure is a pushing forward and an invitation to moving deeper inward together. Making manifest something... divine? Isn't that what it feels like? To sit and connect- to share yourself on an intensely vulnerable level. And in that moment feeling the risk you took turning into something sure and safe. It feels like something we were intended for, created for.

But it's that tricky risk you have to take. Social norms and societal standards that have to be broken. Extreme discomfort inevitable. I'm not sure I can think of a better way to fully experience life.

But that's just me...