I want to tell you that this journey of self-discovery just keeps getting more and more beautifully complicated with its feet dipped in the pool of a calming simplicity (I hold the two somewhere near my rib cage).
I want to tell you that my self-confidence has been consistently at an all time high. I speak up and my voice is filled with a million lessons about how to never let myself feel less than. Lessons born of experience, lessons modeled to me by strong, confident women, lessons whispered (by the people that have loved me) over and over into my ear even when I wasn't able to hear it.
I want to tell you that my readiness to leave Cleveland is not rooted in any sort of discontent or bitterness- only satisfied anticipation for a new journey.
I am becoming more authentic and less afraid of the cost of that authenticity.
I am letting people inside the deeper chambers of my heart and I have not been disappointed by my self-disclosure.
I believe in community again (and I get to believe in it again with the very people who have embodied it since the beginning).
I want to tell you that my faith is tangled up in my soul, knotted and stitched to the fibers of my person hood. I thought I had lost it, but then I figured out I never really had it to begin with. No hyper-religious feel-good bullshit here. Just something that pulls me forward and deeper into the precepts of love and peace and grace and...
These days my mantra has been composed of the stuff of openness and a gritty determination to move always-ever forward. I breathe in deeper and expel every self-defeating thought like an annoying bug. There is no room in my heart anymore to house hate or fear. I am embracing the "tender vision of my heart" and it feels fantastic.
I just wanted to tell you.
1 comment:
my heart is bubbling with excitement for you! you are so brave, so full (to the brim) & i really want to be a part of seeing YOU continue to trickle, trickle, leak out into the world and lives around you.
as far as faith goes, i love this image of it being stitched in the secret places, perhaps not felt/experienced/conscious for long bouts of time, but so much a part of you that you cannot leave Her. Wow. can i steal that? so much love, beautiful one.
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